You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
