ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
