Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
