He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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