I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
