they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
accomplished twins. life is a go
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
