i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
