I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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