is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Well I just put wine in my tea
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
