Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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