can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
