i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
