she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
