im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize