glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
