she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
