I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
