Quick, to the slutcave!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
