Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
