I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
