Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
