im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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