Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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