physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
