I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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