Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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