omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
