i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize