stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
