all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
