yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Randomize
