you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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