I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
