Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
It's blow job season.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
