Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
