dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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