3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
