May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
