using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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