He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
