Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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