We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
