im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
