I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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