I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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