can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
