what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
