It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize
