I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
