I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
