It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
