i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
