honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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