Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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