He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
