we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Sorry about my life...
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize