dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
