No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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