fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
