Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
