the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
