I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
