they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize