Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
