Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
