I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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