Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
third nipple confirmed
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
