Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
