i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
i now understand why vodka
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
