the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
