I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
