he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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