You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
