we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize