Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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